Boiling Life Down to The Essentials: List of essential Momma rules

Boiling Life Down to The Essentials
List of essential Momma rules:

(So far…...I imagine my friends can suggest some others.)


The Pretty Towels are there to be pretty. Do not use the Pretty Towels. They are for display only, until guests come to visit. (Guests may use the Pretty Towels without asking.)
Reason? The Pretty Towels are only pretty if we do not use them.
Solution? Use the mismatched towels from my college days to wipe your muddy hands on before washing said hands. (***Note: "Pretty" and "Good" can be freely interchanged in this rule, as applied to towels.)


Dirty wet clothes/dirty wet towels do not go into the hamper until they dry and have become dry dirty clothes/dry dirty towels.
Reason? Stench potential.
Solution? Hang them up or give them to momma. She'll thank you later.


Poopy underwear are to be deposited in the dirty laundry hamper. Ditto for muddy socks. Poopy underwear and muddy socks do not belong under your bed. The dog will always rat you out.
***Addendum: please inform momma within 1 minute of depositing poopy underwear in the dirty clothes hamper.
Reason? Stench and hygiene. (See next rule.) Secondary benefit- your life will smell better.
Solution? Put dirty clothes directly into the dirty laundry hamper or pile. (Hey, I'm no perfect momma or perfect homemaker. I have piles. Well, of clothes and papers and stuff...)


Keep bathroom doors closed at all times.
Reason? Dogs like poop. (See last rule for clarification.)
Solution? No known solution- dogs have liked poop for eons. Note to self: get a cat next time.


Kiss mom and remind her that you love her everyday. She may forget if her days include any of the aforementioned rules.
Reason? You'll figure it out when you get older, if you haven't figured it out already.
Solution? Kiss mom every day and remind her that you love her. It’s a circle of life thing- and highly essential.