Boiling Life Down to The Essentials: List of essential Momma rules

Boiling Life Down to The Essentials
List of essential Momma rules:

(So far…...I imagine my friends can suggest some others.)


The Pretty Towels are there to be pretty. Do not use the Pretty Towels. They are for display only, until guests come to visit. (Guests may use the Pretty Towels without asking.)
Reason? The Pretty Towels are only pretty if we do not use them.
Solution? Use the mismatched towels from my college days to wipe your muddy hands on before washing said hands. (***Note: "Pretty" and "Good" can be freely interchanged in this rule, as applied to towels.)


Dirty wet clothes/dirty wet towels do not go into the hamper until they dry and have become dry dirty clothes/dry dirty towels.
Reason? Stench potential.
Solution? Hang them up or give them to momma. She'll thank you later.


Poopy underwear are to be deposited in the dirty laundry hamper. Ditto for muddy socks. Poopy underwear and muddy socks do not belong under your bed. The dog will always rat you out.
***Addendum: please inform momma within 1 minute of depositing poopy underwear in the dirty clothes hamper.
Reason? Stench and hygiene. (See next rule.) Secondary benefit- your life will smell better.
Solution? Put dirty clothes directly into the dirty laundry hamper or pile. (Hey, I'm no perfect momma or perfect homemaker. I have piles. Well, of clothes and papers and stuff...)


Keep bathroom doors closed at all times.
Reason? Dogs like poop. (See last rule for clarification.)
Solution? No known solution- dogs have liked poop for eons. Note to self: get a cat next time.


Kiss mom and remind her that you love her everyday. She may forget if her days include any of the aforementioned rules.
Reason? You'll figure it out when you get older, if you haven't figured it out already.
Solution? Kiss mom every day and remind her that you love her. It’s a circle of life thing- and highly essential.

Stupid Dog

Playful Facebook banter started by me this morning...



Dear Dumb Dog,

I have not had my morning coffee yet. Please curtail your stupidity and stubbornness until after 9am or until I have swallowed a full cup of coffee. Following these wise words of instruction will result in you enjoying more of your life and even a few liberties. If momma ain't happy, you ain't happy.

Thank you,
Your Other Mother

(Jean Leonard Powell)
Dear Other Mother,

The dumb dog is too dumb to read this and since you didn't ask me to read it to him, he won't get it.

Signed,
The Cat.


Dear Cat,

As I am sure you have already experienced, the Dumb Dog thinks he is a cat in disguise, until he gets a stuffed animal in his line of sight. Please be advised that when you see him with a stuffed toy in his mouth to give him a wide berth. Otherwise, I cannot insure your continued existence as an indifferent by-stander.

I do thank you for your concern, but even though Dumb Dog thinks he is a cat, he does not speak the official Cat language. Your observation that he does not read is also correct. I think we are on our own in this one.

Do you want to commiserate over a cup of cream? I'll put mine in my second cup of coffee, after I put you-know-who outside for a good run.

Thank you,
The Other Mother

(Jean Leonard Powell)
Dear Other Mother,

Share a cup of cream while griping about the dog?? My favorite thing to do......

Signed,
The Cat

Finally. I am going to do this!

I have been threatening for ages (yes, you might feel threatened if you do not like particularly like me or what I have to share) to start a blog. Ok. Now what?

It's a journey.

Everything.

The thought in your brain into the computer keyboard and out there into the world. That is just one aspect of this life and the journey that we are on. A bit profound and simple and unspectacular all at the same time.

But these are the first few thoughts of this journey.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength and mind. This is the new objective and goal of my journey. Am I a speedy student? No. Daily reminders for the journey are needed. Today, I hope to love Him more. What will you get from that? I don't know, but I hope you can get something good and authentic.

Toodles!